Mindful Break: THIS Makes a Person Great

She travels alone to Honduras, Egypt, and Europe.

She kicks back at night with a glass of wine.

She lives on a tropical island and is always planning her next adventure.

Get ready for this…

She is 93-years-old and a self-proclaimed “recycled teenager.”

She is my stepfather’s mom. On Friday when I saw her in Los Angeles, I asked about a big bruise on her arm.

She got the bruise pulling and tugging and yanking her giant piece of luggage from baggage claim.

“What? Nobody offered to help you?” I asked

“No. So I did it myself.”

She wasn’t complaining. It’s not her style. How could nobody offer to help a 93-year-old lady get her heavy bag from baggage claim?!

On a similar note, my wife was riding the subway to work this week. She’s 33 weeks pregnant. Yet most of the time, nobody stands up to giver her their seat. They bury their heads into their mobile devices, hoping not to make eye contact with her and continue playing Candy Crush.

This made me think back several months ago. I was walking down the jetway to board a plane.

I accidentally kicked a woman trying to help her toddler out of the stroller. She said to me, “Aren’t you gonna say sorry?”

Before I could apologize, the torrent of passengers pushed me past her and onto the plane.

I was THAT guy, just like the people in the subway, stuffing their face into their mobile devices and in the process, disconnecting from the human experience.

I ask you as I ask myself: Do the little things matter anymore? Would I have stood up on the subway for a pregnant woman or helped a 93-year-old lady pulling her bag from baggage claim?

Here’s my answer: I would have helped if I saw them, but I probably would NOT have seen them because I would be reading something on my iPhone.

When you stand up for someone on the subway, you stand up for yourself, for your own dignity.

When you help an old lady get her luggage, you relieve another’s burden, and release your own.

The Course in Miracles says, “What you give to others you give to yourself.”

****

Poet Mark Nepo tells a story of a little girl he once saw in Honduras. She was slowly but surely pulling the wings off a butterfly and saying, “Pobrecita, pobrecita.” (“Poor little thing.”)

It turns out the little girl had endured great hardship, having lost both her parents and brother.

Nepo explained the sad symbolism of her action, “What we don’t face as our own, we perpetrate on others.” Whether that is active (pulling the wings off a butterfly) or passive (ignoring a 93-year-old), it is real for everyone.

I ask you as I ask myself, what are you pretending not to see because you are are so damn busy?

The question is never… does someone nearby need your help? The question is… are you seeing them?

What you see (or don’t see) around you is merely a refection of what you see (or don’t see) within you.

Nepo speaks of the worst people in history, the Hitlers and Milosevics, who didn’t just wake up one morning and become terrible. They made choices, one at a time, because they did not have the courage to give up illusions and look within.

Let’s flip it. The great ones among us don’t suddenly wake up and become great. They make choices, one a time, because they do have the courage to look within and work through (rather than run from) their issues.

Putting it in everyday terms: courage is the daily decision to move through your own stuff.

Today, look around. Actively seek out someone you can help, whether an old woman… or yourself. It is all one in the same.

What monks taught me about worrying less

I was  at a trendy breakfast spot in Soho not too long ago.

Modern, super delicious food, hip New Yorkers.

In the far corner were three people who stood out from the crowd.

That’s hard to do in New York City.

You could wear phosphorescent green, ultra-skinny jeans… and in NYC, you’d fit right in.

You could be a conjoined twin with two heads of different ethnic origin… and in NYC, you’d fit right in.

You could say out loud, “Jezamachafreeakmakamaka!” And in NYC, somebody would say “Screw you!” but somebody else would say “I hear ya brother!”

Point being: It’s hard to stand out here!

So just who were these three people who stood out from the crowd in Soho?

They were monks in full robes enjoying Sunday brunch.

As one of them passed me I said to him: “Your energy is awesome. Do you have any worries whatsoever?”

“Of course I have worries,” he said. “I live in this world. But I have learned to trust the Universe completely. I always have exactly what I need.”

His Complete Trust was calming and soothing. It made me feel spacious in mind and heart, as if I was 22 and lying on the beach listening to Jerry Garcia play an acoustic version of Ripple. I had not felt this way in so, so long.

And then it hit me. Spirituality had become shallow.

It’s easy to collect Pinterest quotes, and watch Super Soul Sunday, and do your meditations, and practice yoga, and talk about Trust all you want over almond milk chai lattes with extra cinnamon.

But real Trust is not what you say, but what you DO when you keep bumping up against the same frustrations, the same daily blues, the same obstacles day in and day out.

*****

Scholar Joseph Campbell describes the origin of “panic.”

In Greek mythology, the god named PAN would instill “a sudden groundless fright” into anyone who ventured into his domain.

Even the slightest sound like the breaking of a twig would flood the trespasser’s mind with great danger.

Thus, the origin of the word “PAN-ic.”

But wait.

The mythology states that if you paid your respect to PAN before venturing into his territory, he would bestow all the wonders of nature upon your lucky soul.

It’s a message so perfectly embodied by the three monks brunching in Soho.

• Come to it differently.
• Show your faith.
• Pay your respect.
• Take the rest of the day to Trust completely.

Worst case scenario? You relax into a soothing energy and take a load off.

Best case scenario? You bust loose and become the all-time greatest version of you.